if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You were trust falling into bushes
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
