he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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