remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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