I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
