I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
