if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize