She's JV to your varsity
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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