Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
do herpes really smell.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
