is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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