Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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