'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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