Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
