He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
