he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
