..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
