you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
