erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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