Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
