Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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