Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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