You're so nebulous sometimes
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
