Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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