I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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