I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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