Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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