In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
