How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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