yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She's the barista slut.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
