Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
White coat. Heels.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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