Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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