i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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