That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Enjoy the penises
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
