butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
