Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
