a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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