Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
