Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
