A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
