This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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