I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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