Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
