If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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