I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
