I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
