The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
