so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
