I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
