Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Even my vagina gasped.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
