i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
