I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
