You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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