This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
