Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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