dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
