I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
