Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
