He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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